There are so many things that had happened and still happening all at once. No matter how you try to take a moment, give yourself a little time, and work at a comfortable pace it always feels like the world is in a rush and you have to keep up with it. It’s like you can’t even take a step back and enjoy life because you have to deal with things one after another.
It has been three months since I have lost my father. It was very difficult for me to deal with all I have to go through. There has been a lot of changes that happened in my life since I lost him for it has completely turned upside down. There were times that I thought I am completely okay and ready to function but then I’ll stumble and fall, over and over again. Another wave sweeps in and I will be overwhelmed by the changes, pains, and fears…again. I tried to resist it, avoid the fierce, sometimes try to question everything that is going on, and push myself to just “get over it”. But no matter how we put it, life is simply like that- a cycle. And the more that I try to find reasons and answers to everything, the more complicated it gets.
These past two months, I have been in denial about these changes in my life. I get disappointed every time my plans don’t work out. I push myself to be in a better state because I felt like it was what the world wants – the people around me to happen. But lately, I have come to realize that life is something you don’t and will never know how to live unless you are grounded on the fact that everything changes, then that’s how you’ll truly know how you live life. We have to accept that not everything will turn out good. We need to be open-minded that our life will not turn out according to our plans or the way we want it to be. When it doesn’t go as we have expected, it is sometimes hard to accept and let it go; but there is no point moping about something that cannot be changed – something that has already happened. The thing is, acceptance is the key to having peace of mind.
How we see life and intend to live contributes to how our lives turn out because it ‘s all connected, one way or another. Being open-minded to everything, be open to worst cases, to the unexpected changes, fears, and worries that are all happening is a practice of acceptance. Most importantly, to completely trust in Him, His will not yours. Let His will changes you and how you see life.