Wide awake at past 1:00am, drinking a glass of red wine and listening to these voices inside my head. Deep inside, I’m crashing- each word is stabbing me. I am in pain, not physically but mentally and emotionally.
No matter how happy I am, sometimes … I suddenly feel sad when I’m alone. I suddenly feel sad at night and it keeps me up. It is the kind of sadness that makes me feel trapped. And I’ll start thinking death is my only escape.. Posting on social media helps me vent how I really feel. I’m not seeking for attention, unlike what people say. I am just trapped with these voices inside.
Tomorrow it will be gone, I don’t feel sad when I’m busy. Even I am doing the simplest thing or even just a little sunlight. These can help a lot to get through the day.
And when the night comes again, I will be trap again, with so much pain.